The universal human needs drive actions and the actions result in learning experiences. A learning experience imparts something into the mind of the learner, right or wrong, good or bad. Some vestige of the experience stays behind in memory to provide information for future strategies. When these pieces of lingering information are not passed before the spiritual adjudicator, they become foundations for related beliefs, creating quite complex ways of thinking and acting, which may very severely limit the spirit. The earlier the sliver is allowed in, the more important it will be to find it and remove it and all of its relatives. When such basic foundational beliefs/slivers are removed, there can be quite dramatic life changes, all resulting in additional enlightenment and empowerment.
There is a process in place and operates in the general course of living one's life. How we use this "process" to best benefit ourselves is a choice we can make at any moment,
and do.
There is a tendency to judge people and decide where they should be at a particular stage in life. Parents are most prone to do this with their children. We forget that there are no absolutes in the process of growth. Economic success, for example, can exist alongside of emotional failure and vice versa in another period of one's life.
But looking to the milestones of life for relational patterns can greatly increase self-understanding and development. Most important is the common thread between them---how they relate to human needs. By grand design, fulfilling the needs of the body is the stepping stone to purposeful living. The needs will motivate all three purposes, yet the beliefs of mind may only allow them to be partially met. In such cases, body might take over with self-preservationary responses to meet the needs temporarily in ways that go against long-term goals or other needs. For an adult body cares less about connection than it does freedom and power, if the prevailing conditions for connection compromise them. Oftentimes, choices of mind force the body to choose and its prime directive is simply survival.
The mind may wish to take a certain risk in order to gain its concept of freedom and/or power, but the body (concerned with survival of the physical) will override the minds decision with the emotional override of fear, altering the decision to take an unnecessary risk.
All needs will be apparent at every life stage, but over the lifetime, there are periods where certain needs take center stage. They are punctuated by
periods of self-reflection which are meant to foster corrective action for debilitating patterns that have emerged over time. The individual is intended to be able to notice patterns of frustration, long-range moods, learning
personality traits and attitudes which bring emotional pain that has emerged from slivers that have not yet been corrected. There is a spiritual
significance in the number four. There are four-day, four-month and four-year cycles in which the spirit will allow certain building up of frustration, and then a necessary venting.
These cycles are intended to draw attention to the cycle of human action, the feeling signals and how the beliefs are at the core of any problem. Each cycle offers a pattern that the need for meaning motivates the individual to notice and explore
. This might take the concept of a "leap year", which occurs every four years and reduce it down to the "month" and "day"
periods, making it a normal part of the natural cycle of things, adding credence to this suggested system.
There is no period in our lives that does not allow us the opportunity to explore and expand our nature, on all three levels.
Earliest Years: Trust & Connection The first to consider is
When children bear children and begin the rearing process without the emotional development and support necessary to practice the type of dedication that a parent owes a newborn child, the consequences are long term and difficult to reverse. The status of parenthood needs to be elevated in every society, to the point that the society supports and favors the same highest possible level of support for all its citizens.
The unmet need for connection will become a prime motivation, even exaggerated in ways that a neediness and fear of abandonment will drive the individual to neurotic actions to keep such things from happening. Strategies of deception, people-pleasing, and avoidance will replace the faithful and trusting intimacy necessary for communication and love. Yet the very beliefs that base the fears, will motivate actions that will most surely manifest abandonment and loss situations.
No amount of superficial financial aid can replace a deep appreciation for and broad understanding of those values that make for complete and natural parenting. Without the latter, the former is simply ineffective.
Thus, life situations that arise can provide additional clues to expose the underlying beliefs. There are no accidents. Each event will accurately reflect the beliefs of the mind that called it forth. Events which affect relationships are likely signs to examine the strategies for meeting the connection need. Divorces, breakups of partnerships, scrapes with the law, even very dramatic, complex loss situations will be manifested---all so that the connection need can be noticed and met within all three human purposes.
In an ironic fashion, those negative experiences that we have in our relationships with other human beings are the signposts along the way that can direct us in our struggle to overcome the handicaps given to us in the earliest stage of our lives. We need only begin to appreciate them for what they are.
Fear, ranging from mild anxiety to blinding fright will characterize this unsatisfied developmental need. Fear of vulnerability and abandonment might be buried quite deep within layers of avoidant strategies, bravado, or image, but it will surely be there, interfering with each and every intimate relationship. It will also interfere with normal day-to-day cooperation among humans. For underneath the surface beliefs will be the nagging "truth" that others will take advantage of you if you choose to fully trust and cooperate. Evasive actions will be taken to ensure the vulnerability is never exposed, or angry explosive rejections will create chasms between "us and them". But, of course, true connection and intimacy and the joyous loving rewards of spirit will remain at bay.
Because the understanding of our world, as presented by our media, is so saturated with stories of those who take advantage of the trust people place in others, the effort to alter the atmosphere of cynicism will take more than a recognition of the problem.
Ages 1-20: Freedom & Power
Another early formative belief is how one views their freedom of movement and personal power.
A faulty belief structure regarding one's freedom will result in angry rebellion and a lack of ability to adapt and cooperate within normal, non-threatening constructions and guidelines.
The well-meant tendency to protect children can result in a parent believing that if something bad happens to a child, he/she will be regarded as failed parents. Thus, the greater the control of the child, the greater adherence to self-preservation, which eventually passes on to the child's view of the world, along with all its consequences.
Instead, the early learning experiences must deliver the gems that each individual is the sole determinant of their life experience. First, there must be a healthy separation or sense of individual identity within the context of connection with others. This is a healthy sense of self value and respect offered by the world, a rightful assurance of mental and physical freedom. Second , there must be a sense of accountability for one's actions, with the understanding that one takes the initiative to make things happen and then takes responsibility for what has happened. And third, that the effort to honor the inner destiny is always put forth to live fully, to create and express their unique gift.
Freedom, responsibility and the capability of creativity are the linchpins that form the foundation of true adult behavior later in life.
Together, these gems meet power and freedom needs and manifest into a strong sense of self-purpose, a solid work ethic, and an inner reward system to allow efficient success in purposeful living. Without them, there will be feeling experiences of doubt, guilt, shame, inferiority, and lack of self-esteem. The events and patterns of life will be those of dependency, blaming, lack of faith, resistance to learning, an exaggerated longing for external approval, and a general lack of self-sufficiency.
If one looks at the lives which reflect the latter "events and patterns", described above, and examines the life of these individuals from early childhood to adulthood, the environment of their growth should be connected to their current state of mind, in most cases.
These primary needs for connection, freedom, and power are best accommodated by developing successful strategies of mind during the first two decades of life. This is the period that is normally considered childhood, adolescence, and the teen years, which mark the successful transition into adulthood. This period varies, depending upon the complexity of the culture, with some systems instilling the basics much earlier. Disruptive, chaotic and non-accommodating experiences will leave need deficits, faulty beliefs and strategies, and their telltale actions and feelings.
It would seem that the more complicated the lives of the parents, the less attention given to the rearing of children. When a lack of care and guidance evolves, so also does a lack of understanding of self along the line of the three categories listed in an earlier paragraph.
When one is seeking enlightenment and empowerment, looking to these fundamental needs can be a most beneficial approach to ongoing development of mind. For most every human being, born of the modern world cannot help but be influenced by the many slivers held within mass consciousness. It can be extremely beneficial to look to problems in areas of intimacy, control and self-confidence to identify and correct any limiting contents of mind.
The earlier in one's life that this effort is made, the more easily the corrections of mind can be put in place. The younger the branch, the more easily it bends. Grandparents who have come to these new realizations have a greater opportunity of planting the proper gems than parents, involved in the responsibilities of economic support, so seemingly required in today's society.
Independence, Creativity & Early Adulthood In early adulthood, the 20's and 30's, each of these fundamental need-meeting strategies will be called upon during the primary choices of partnership, professional direction, and the starting of a family. Dreams are
declared, plans are made and alliances are formed. Problems and issues that arise during this time period can call to light the early slivers. Parenting one's own children offers a second chance to purposefully instill the most
rewarding mental landscape as previously discussed.
In other words, young adults can endeavor to identify the virtues and shortcomings of their parents and vow to live the best possible lives they can, as well as exercise and pass on the gems they have identified.
But parenthood also provides an opportunity for a rebirth of sorts. A mature commitment to self-development can allow the young adult to analyze and recreate within their own mindscape those desirable traits they seek to offer their children. If there are any emotions connected with the parents of those now parenting themselves, these can be excellent clues for the need to address these issues. This time period can provide an opportunity to review the early years with compassion, forgiveness, and faith in spirit.
In the most natural of settings, parents of different generations can compare perspectives, exchange views and, where it is agreed that mistakes
were made, find a healing that will surely benefit the next generation to follow.
At this point, young men and women will marry, settle down and begin to create future versions of themselves, in a secure environment where both are devoted to the making of a better
world. Also, at this point, their parents will sound a great sigh of relief.
Adopting that which will serve as an outlet for the creative need, making time for it and keeping it as one's own, can serve as a stabilizing force in the day to day burdens of responsibility.
This stage of life is a good time to ensure that balance is attained between and among all needs and purposes. A telltale sign of emotional frustration will be any one activity or tendency that takes more time than its products might warrant. Of course, the destructive activities are already acknowledged as those to eliminate, but some positive ones can also begin to go beyond their own needed purpose if balance is not achieved. An analysis of one's daily time schedule measured against its effectiveness for meeting each need and serving each purpose can be an excellent way toward improving balance.
There is a temptation in modern society to invest an excessive amount of our time in the source of our income, in other words, too many of today's young and middle aged adults are evolving into work-alcoholics. While the monetary and prestige rewards result, the spiritual loss down the road will be most difficult to retrieve.
Midlife Evaluation: Meaning & Esteem Then will come a period of self-reflection and life analysis. During the
40's, 50's, or even the 60's, the inner urge for meaning will come to the fore to analyze and evaluate the first half of life. Emotional frustration in many areas will become less tolerable as the spirit yearns for purposeful
living. Feelings of sadness, loss of hopes and dreams, and general discontent will motivate new beginnings. If continuous self-development has not been occurring, the level of spiritual frustration will build until perhaps some
crisis event forces the issues to center stage.
The conventional term for this condition is "mid-life crisis". It's usually described as that point in one's life when one realizes that he/she is not likely to realize that earlier ambition because the price was too high. These are usually materialistic goals because spiritual goals do not have this type of defined limitation.
A revisiting of early dreams and an assessment of what went wrong are now in order. Self esteem and confidence should be propelling one along the destiny path at this point. Life revolves around successful relationships, professions, community leadership roles, active parenting and other creative pursuits. If the professional avenues are not creatively rewarding, new challenges might be assumed. This will be a time when mental and physical tolerance for unhappiness is particularly low, and conscious, purposeful changes must be made.
We reach that certain stage in life when we realize that the opinions that others have to offer about us and what we want to achieve are not anywhere as good as what we know internally. This is when we begin to develop greater faith in our own judgment and, more importantly, our instincts.
In fact, physical malady and illness might present itself as the body's way of expressing its emotional frustration of any unmet need. The body can assume exaggerated or weakened immune responses, create tumors, or otherwise scuttle itself if emotional frustration has become a daily reality. Special care and attention to the maintenance and respect of the body is particularly important. Such physical clues can also shed light upon the underlying belief sources and need deficits. Information of this nature is readily accessible, should humans choose to analyze their own needs, their strategies for meeting them and how well they feel they are being met.
Our physical bodies do communicate with our mental and spiritual natures on a regular basis. Anyone who has ever read the writings of Louise Hayes is familiar with this concept.
The Golden Years Upon retirement from workaday activities, there will come a time for reflecting. Although it is never too late to make dramatic changes in one's
life, with the Golden Years comes a certain acceptance about how the life has unfolded. The spirit still yearns for development and expression, but it relaxes a bit. It recognizes the inevitable ending to the life and accepts the
inevitability of certain limitations of mind, yet it desires a great deal of reflection at this point. This will be a time to find patterns of meaning, the gleaning of wisdom from the life experiences and expressing them in new
ways.
At such a milestone in a life, one can choose to wind down and turn off, or like any other milestone, i.e. graduation, marriage, parenthood, it can serve as a beginning of a renewed adventure, with certain limitations and certain earned comforts.
The Golden Years are a time of peaceful reflection and sharing of wisdom. They enjoy the maximum level of remembered experience, wherein generations can be seen and the major patterns of life lie before the mind of experience. It will be a time for tremendous connection with loved ones and with the world. It will be a time of powerful leadership, wisdom and guidance for the most spiritually fulfilled. There may never be an official period of retirement, yet the activity level and participation takes on a more guiding rather than driving role.
This would result in a period of adjustment both for the one in this new environment
and for those who have not yet reached that point, as each views the other with revised feelings.
The role that the "older" will play in relation to the "younger" can be one of positive example and one of negative dependency. With more leisure time on hand, dormant interests can now get the attention they deserve. On the other hand, self pity can make one most unattractive to be around. Free will is still in place.
Death & Dying The final stage of life is the transition from the physical realm and is known as death.
We will come to understand that there is no "death", in the sense that we now view it. It will be regarded more as a transition experience, not frightening or threatening, but as a "birth" into another state of being.
The death process need not be fearsome or painful, or resisted. Yet, limiting beliefs and misguided cultural traditions and technologies of prolonging life at all costs, have virtually redefined it. Instead, the process can be a joyous culmination of the life experiences, the opportunity for accomplishing a final and everlasting connection with loved ones, replete with any ceremonial, ritualistic or traditional trimmings imaginable by the individual.
The perfect death would be one that can be planned for and can include those connections and conversations that bring closure to that which might need healing or awakening before one's final departure. It should be a chance to make the experience as painless for those to be left behind as is possible.
The final period of life will offer a mental flexibility in ways likened to the plasticity of consciousness upon the birth. The dream-world will become more significant as the mind experiments with altered states of conscious focus. Individuals who practice and become comfortable and gain a degree of conscious control during dream adventures can aid their transition. The mind might slip in and out of its normal focus quite often, as the spirit flexes and alters its vibratory rate, in preparation for its journey home.
Those less enlightened souls remaining in the physical might view the departing person's state as being delusionary when, in fact, it is simply
part of a preparatory experience designed to aid in the transition. It can also be regarded as a "window" into the next state of being, valuable to both the departing and the remaining.
Knowledge about the next stage of "life" is so poorly explored that the fear connected with the "death" concept is bound to remain. Were the subject more accepted, it is likely that those remaining in the physical would be experiencing more contact and helpful communication from those who have gone on.
Loved ones left behind experiencing any lingering pain can attain closure by promptly utilizing verbal or visualization techniques enveloping the communications and images within love energy. Faith in spirit, compassion and forgiveness can allow each and every painful memory to be replaced by more spiritually desirous understandings and interpretations of interactions with the departed one.
We, in this physical state, have daily opportunities to resolve unfinished "business" with those who have gone ahead of us. We need simply make such our intent, utilizing our senses to express that which we feel, toward that end.
The essence of each stage of human development is the challenge to attain life strategies and activities that allow purposeful living. At every point in life, embracing developmental responsibility and all that it implies will keep the individual upon the Destiny Path. Understanding the unique purposes of body to survive, of mind to learn and create, and of spirit to express, can guide each decision to consciously, purposefully and cooperatively act rather than unconsciously, indiscriminately, and competitively react. Understanding how the six universal needs move the body and mind toward purposeful choice of thought and action can provide information in each moment that will allow for maximum happiness and spiritual fulfillment.
Knowledge brings us the power to create with intelligent and compassionate purpose. We are most content when we are exercising our free will in this creative posture.
The life-course, however meaningful to its owner, beyond time/space has its own brand of significance. The past, as humans think of it, matters not to spirit in the grandest scheme. It matters not how the early development proceeded, even if there were serious violations, injustices and lacks of freedom and opportunity, that the urgings of spirit could not correct at the time. For each entity has the power in every moment to develop and even re-invent the mind. It matters not to spirit the prior levels of frustration and pain, the amount of misguided thoughts and actions, or even the enduring personality patterns that have emerged from such limitations. Development and renewal awaits in every moment.
What does not matter to "spirit" should not be of primary importance to us either. What is past is truly past and each new day in this physical environment is a first day in our ongoing existence.
What does matter is that spirit is eventually heard. This can occur at any point along the life path. To begin immediately to allow the feeling signals to lead the mind to its most ingrained, foundational beliefs for an audience with the spiritual adjudicator, is to reclaim the willful design of mind and to honor the spirit. The spirit patiently awaits its opportunity to begin to live.
All this should give new meaning to the Christian prayer: The "Our Father" However, it does require that we understand that the "Father" referred to is, in fact, our own spiritual nature, waiting to be expressive. One has to presume that since "spirit" exists outside of the confines of physical time, patience is a virtue that is much more easily exercised.
Accepting developmental responsibility can offer just that. With understandings in place regarding what it means to be human, we can now proceed to
discuss, what it means to be human among other humans in Earthly experience.